Here’s Why You Should Not Write A Memoir
Deciding to write your memoir is a big decision and there are so many beautiful reasons why you should write a memoir. Yet writing a memoir isn't for everyone.
Thoughtful creative writing can actually help save precious memories. Writing about why saving your memories and documenting your life is so important.
It would be best if you spent some time exploring why you want to write your memoir before you get started. Let me explain.
Having a clear vision and reason for writing your memoirs provides clarity. It helps you feel motivated, pushing through any creative blocks. When you have a goal and purpose for writing, you'll be more consistent and committed to the process. You'll have a finished manuscript in no time.
Let's explore all the four reasons why you shouldn't write a memoir. Let me describe them, and then you can see if you are still happy to proceed.
Here’s Why You Should Not Write A Memoir
1. You think it will make you rich and famous.
Writing a memoir might make you rich and famous. We would never want to put a limit on your dreams and say you won't or can't make money. However, writing a memoir solely for this purpose can lead to a loss of motivation halfway through. It is then things get tough. Or it can result in a project that doesn't have your heart and truth in it. Finding yourself writing for fame and fortune can lead to disillusionment and disappointment. It would be best if you wrote your memoir to tell your story. You might make money from it, you might become famous, but that should be a bonus, not the primary goal.
2. You want revenge.
If you are writing for revenge, you'll often find that you run out of steam after about 10,000 words. There needs to be a story too. Even if it is one of pain, it should still include a narrative. It doesn't have to show forgiveness and redemption. But remember, pure hurt or malice on the page doesn't always make a story. We have to go back to what a memoir is, and that's a story of change. How have you changed? Tell us about why you wanted revenge. How did the story start? Don't write to get back at someone; use your voice to tell your story and help others. You also have to be careful about libel and seek legal advice where necessary.
3. If you want to keep everything surface level.
Your memoir doesn't have to be a 'tell-all', but you do have to be real and personal. It would help if you told your truth as honestly and as viscerally as you can. The heart of your memoir must share the core of your story, of who you are. You can't pretend or gloss over any truths with memoir, readers can feel it; you have to be real.
4. People's judgement concerns you
Writing is about judgement. Right or wrong. Yet this is why we love writing, we judge an author and say 'They get me, this is my life', or we think, 'This is crazy, who lives like this?'. With memoir, it's even more personal. People will make comments about you. That's why you need to tell the truth, and then you can stand by it, and know you told your story.
Whilst these are four reasons why we shouldn't write a memoir, there are so many more reasons why we should.
Let's cover what a memoir is and isn't, so you can ensure you are on the right track. It will increase your confidence when you do come to write your memoir.
What is a Memoir?
Let's get clear on what a memoir isn't, so you can focus on what it is.
A memoir isn't therapy. But the process can be very therapeutic. It can help you work through past trauma or events. So it's essential to focus on those elements of your writing that serve the overall story. Then which parts are purely therapeutic, and keep them separate.
For example, your reader might want to know what you've overcome through a divorce. What you've learnt in those times. But they need not be sitting in the therapy room with you as you work through all the details. It is a delicate balance. It's only a balance you can find through writing everything down. Then, picking out what works and what doesn't - what to include, and what to omit.
Important side note. If writing brings up elements that cause distress or concern, seek help if you need it. There is no shame or anxiety you should have in doing this.
But equally, it's important to remember; that you might not have a huge reason to write a memoir. Or to feel you've suffered or experienced sorrowful times. Sometimes life throws us a curveball, but you don't need trauma to write a memoir. A memoir can be happy and positive.
It's worth remembering you can exclude the bits you don't want to write. It's not a tell-all gossip piece. You don't have to share parts of yourself that you don't want to share.
Please don't think it's self-important or self-indulgent to write a memoir either. It is, in fact, the opposite. It's brave and powerful to share your story. Especially when we are going 'warts and all' with our storytelling. You have a story to tell, you are here, you made a difference in the world, and it's not self-important to write about that. If anything, it inspires other people and permits them to write their stories too.
You have an incredible story to tell and we want to help you get it from your head and out onto the page. These questions below will help you consider if writing a memoir is right for you.
Questions to consider before starting to write your memoir:
Why am I writing this?
What do I hope to gain?
Am I writing out of revenge?
What difficult emotions could this bring up?
Are there people I can talk to or ask for support if I need it when I start writing?
What am I looking forward to most about writing this memoir?
Should you write a memoir?
Memories To Memoir Creative Writing Course Derbyshire
Good writing is about truth-telling. It is what makes a memoir engaging when someone is brave enough to say, 'This is me, and my story.' Then another person sees themselves or part of themselves in that story too.
Turn into your truth, not away from it. Write about what you think and believe, not what you 'think' you should write. Consider your real motivation for writing a memoir, and you'll be fine.
We would love to help you tell your story. We are running our Memories for Memoir course to help you get the words from your head and onto the page.
If you take these four reasons into account you will end up writing a beautiful memoir that encapsulates your true life. And that is the perfect reason to write your memoir.
We’d love to know what you think. Send us a message now!
Memories to Memoir Online Course
You have a story to tell. It’s time to bring it to the page. Our Memories to Memoirs course is perfect for those looking to start documenting their life through written stories. This introductory online course will give you an insight into life writing and you’ll be bursting with ideas ready to start your memoir. This is an online course delivered live via Zoom.
